Sunday, 24 February 2013

Bonus Night

Today I'm feeling a little miserable and a little lost, not a great way to start this post, it could become a bit dark so be warned.
I'd like to firstly state that I am so fed up of being constantly nice and decent to women and for them to not give a flying fuck. Seriously, a reply would be nice wouldn't it? How hard is that?
Since we last spoke, I have had Instagram walk back into my life. Remember, she went a bit quiet a couple of weeks ago? Of course you remember. Anyway, she turned up again on Valentines Day moaning about being lonely and without a date. Now being the gentleman that I am, I had originally offered to spend Valentines with me but she rejected it so by rights, I shouldn't speak to this girl again but that gets you nowhere. We talk about this and that like you do and after time, she offers to come and see me. Obviously I accept.
She came to mine where we drank wine, watched movies, cuddled and yes, we had sex. It was better than before, it felt more personal and enjoyable, it was like we actually both were fully into it which is always a bonus. I seem to have a lot of sex where I'm not really fussed and most the time I don't even finish.
The next day is much the same, cuddling, movies, food, talking about everything and anything. She leaves early evening to pick up stuff from her ex, she rings me afterwards saying what a bastard he is and I'm not going to lie, it makes me feel a little loved that she rung me to discuss it. However, there was one thing that pissed me off about her visit - she was constantly on her phone which I find so rude. If for any reason ever you can't get hold of me, it's because I'm with a female on a date or whatever, I want to give the woman my full attention not be "Hold on a minute to what you're saying, I'm just going to scroll through Instagram for five minutes and have a in depth discussion with my best friend!" Really got on my nerves about her, if I had my way, I would've hid her phone until she left.
Now, maybe this is karma, over the current weekend, we've barely spoke. This happened before but unlike before, I haven't asked what's up with her - yet. We've barely spoke since Thursday, I know she's been out and she's been working but that didn't stop her messaging me before. Something is obviously up with her, the most likely scenario is that she's not keen on me anymore because of something or other? Or she might generally go like this every couple of weeks? Now what do I do? Do I ask if she's OK? Do I wait for her to contact me? I know her being quiet is contributing to my negative mood today, I just wish people were honest and didn't play games, there is really no need to is there? I mean, if she doesn't want to see each other anymore, she just has to say, I'm a reasonable man, I can take rejection on this scale, I'd have much more respect for her. I'm sure every time I get fobbed off by a woman, they just stop replying and ignore me, it's not on. I think all women do it. Women are manipulative and will do anything to get what they want out of someone, I fucking hate them. I'd say safely that 90% of my bad moods, downfalls and failures in my life are down to some woman. Whether it's chasing someone clearly out of my league, it's being dumped, being lead on, whatever, behind every broken man is some fucking bitch who screwed them over. It's not what I need in my life. I don't need these negative, paranoid feelings which drive me insane. If she has a problem with me, it's only fair she tells me what that is. She won't though, she'll just pretend to be oblivious to how I'm feeling but of course, she knows and she's probably loving every second. Bitch.

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