All Gone To Plan.

So it's a day off with very little excitement, just getting on with the usual routine, I may see a friend this evening, all depends really. That's not what I'm blogging about though, you've guessed it, it's female related, of course it is. I've had a young lady from the past turn up in the last few weeks which is appreciated, for once. It's our friend who I'd take as a girlfriend, well, I would've done at the time I first told you about her, however, things have changed since. We had our Christmas fall out where I decided that she was a total whore and not to be trusted due to her bailing on me then lying about why.
After that day, I took her off everything, I didn't want to speak to her anymore, didn't want to see which one of the people I know she was flirting with. I forgot all about her, I just got on with my life, working and the such. It was easy, nothing stressful, no laying awake at night, thinking about what would've happened if we had got together, none of that 'the one that got away' bollocks, my memories of her were instead tucked away in a corner of my mind which is used for these scenarios.
A few months pass and I get a text message from her, letting me know of an event in the local area which I'd be interested in. Now, I'll give it to her, she started the message with "I hope you're over what you had against me but I thought you'd like this." I replied, being the soppy wanker I am, we had a nice catch up but that was it, no more, then she followed me again on Twitter with a new account and the inevitable happened, the flirting soon followed and she invited me to spend a night with her at some jam night in a pub. The pubs in her neck of the woods don't exactly have a great reputation but I thought I might as well, I don't have a good reputation, might as well give it go plus my social life consists of talking to girls online and trying to get naked pictures of them (which has produced some gems recently, I'll make an art exhibition of them one day) so the chance to see a girl naked is worth giving a shot, advice - if you're offered sex off someone you even kind of fancy, take it, you don't know when the next fuck is coming.
The night was a pretty standard night at a jam night in a boozer, local pissheads trying to be your mate, being forced to have eight drinks when you can't be bothered, some dreadlocked 90's throwback grunge guitarist trying to be the next big thing and a low percentage of women, however there were a couple of lookers in there (of course I look at other women when in the company of someone I'm trying to fuck) so that was a plus.
I stayed at hers after a walk home which included a debate whether to get a taxi to her house even though it was an ten minute walk and weighing up a kebab if we could find one that was open. We went straight to bed and yes, we fucked, exactly the result I wanted. This girl has recently got a boob job and has been at the gym a lot recently so her body is looking very lean and fuckable. During our drunken sex, I slipped and my hard cock went a little in her ass, she responded with "Wrong hole ____!" and then with that 'on the other hand' tone "you can fuck me there if you want?" Now, this is a dilemma for all men. Just to give ladies the heads up, men love anal, well, at least 90% do. It's something which a lot of girls find taboo (every girl should try it, The One was curious and it turned into her favourite) so finding a girl who loves anal is a major turn on never mind getting it handed on a plate so easily with someone you think is pretty fit so of course, I fucked her in the ass, she wanted it harder, I went harder, one point she was pretty much on the floor with her ass in the air. Unfortunately, being drunk means one thing for me - it takes me a life time to orgasm. Getting hard isn't the problem, it's taking forever to cum, I even get bored of fucking after a while, if you don't feel like you're climaxing at any point, then it's not going to be good sex. After a while, she asked if I was close to cumming which I replied in my honest manner "I'm never going to, let's spoon." That's exactly what happened, we stopped and we spooned. My cock was still hard but there was no way that I was going to have an orgasm, it was nice though to fuck someone I fancy, she kissed me and said she loved me fucking her, and in her ass, always nice to hear.
We parted the next morning and since, well, we've barely spoken. we've text each other saying thanks for the night but that's it, how rude are we eh? Probably for the best, I'll hear from her at some point no doubt and I'll be happy to spend the evening with her again. I suppose this encounter has been a success, right? I'd say so, we had a laugh, no-one has got hurt, we both got drunk and laid, cheeky bit of anal, no love lost, someone to spoon and no cum on her bed sheets - perfect as a planned one night stand can be really.

I'm off to get a steak.

Mon choix.

I hope you're all enjoying the blog, I'm enjoying writing it. I think I'm going to keep it exclusively to dating, women, sex and all things related, much more fun isn't it?

Today I finally have a day off from my constant cycle of work and study which is a relief, I normally go running in the morning but not today, I wanted to sleep in. I did some studying this morning but the afternoon would be dedicated away from that. So what do I do? I'll blog, that's what I do. Expect a few posts.

Earlier I was thinking about women, OK, I'm lying; I'm always thinking about women. It's not my fault and I don't think you can judge me, I'm being honest. I think about having sex on a very regular basis, I also think about meeting women, spending time with them, making them smile, disappointing them, arousing them, everything, all emotions thrown in there. I presume it isn't only me which makes up future scenarios in their head right? The one's where your realistic dreams are realised and that life toddles along perfectly, they're great, it's those kind of thoughts which really get you through a long day at work. There's always a dream woman in them, the one that finally calms me down and doesn't make my mind wander off thinking about other women, wishing that I could fuck them etc. I don't want to feel like that, I don't want a mix between the two, I either want to have the casual dating life where my mind can wander wherever it wants without having any guilt or to find that woman in the daydreams which is 100% my focus, my love, my lust and my happiness and no longer have wandering thoughts, that's unlikely, right?

Since The 'One' decided that leading me on was stupid and our messed up situation ended, I've only met two women who I would want to be my 100% focus. One of course was La fille celebre who as we know was never going to happen. Looking back on it, I think it would've been an awful relationship to have, one where I would've had to give everything without getting anything back. A lot of beautiful, stuck up women are like that, there seems to be this idea these days that women are quite happy to be a bimbo, bitchy wife-type who sits around waiting for a rich man to come in their life. Honestly, if I was loaded or not, I wouldn't want some silly tart spending the money I had earned on some overpriced items of her choice, I'd want a woman with a career and goals, or at least a full time role where she was happy with what she was doing, I wouldn't expect a woman to buy me everything I desired. Men and women are equal now, it's not the 50's anymore, women have every entitlement that men have in today's society, so bloody make the most of it, don't be a lazy, nagging, money grabbing bitch, probably half the reason men in these type of marriages have affairs, the men who settle down with these kind of women are idiots, just because they look like a television whore, it doesn't mean they are one, not that I'm saying television whores are great role models or anything, I mean, look at Tulisa, would you marry someone of that calibre? Didn't think so.

The only other woman on this list is not exactly the most gorgeous woman I've ever dated (she is sexy of course and she looks amazing naked) but she has her life sorted, she is settled with a home and a car, she's of a perfect age compared to mine, we have a lot in common but the best thing is that she makes me laugh, I love a woman who makes me laugh. Note to women - there's no point being a stuck up miserable bitch who's afraid of not looking 100% all the time and thinking they're God's gift because men think you're an idiot, men like a laugh, we enjoy women being stupid with us, mucking around and generally being a good laugh. When we see each other, I always have a good time even though we never really do much, we'll cook, watch DVD's, catch up on our lives, tell stories about the weirdo's that we know. The bottom line is that when I'm with her, she makes me happier than anyone else I've seen since The 'One.' She's a fantastic girl and someone who I could have a proper, no hassle but exciting relationship with. 

If I wanted to have to have a relationship with anyone, then this woman is that person but do I want a relationship with anyone? That's the first hurdle, I don't know if the Pro's are worth the Con's. It's nice seeing her every so often, having a fun, cosy evening, a good spooning and a good night of sex but I have a lot to happen soon, I want to escape here as soon as I'm able to. This will get in the way until I've escaped, unless I don't escape and stay here but then what if we got together, broke up in two years then I become delirious, crushed and I resent her because I didn't escape here and follow the big dream? Secondly I don't even know how she feels about me, we've had sex, we've flirted, we've had good times but maybe she's like that with everyone and I just take things like that a bit too seriously, it's hard isn't it? I wouldn't want to put myself on the line and then be shot down, I don't take to rejection well, I'd feel as if there's something personally wrong with me, for example, The 'One' making me question my masculinity, that killed me inside, she made me feel that I couldn't make any woman happy and content with me. Yeah, I'm still not over that one and I don't think I will be until I find that woman which I adore and is content with me and what I do for her.

I think it's best if I stay single and in the casual dating frame of mind for now, until the escaping situation is sorted, that's the main goal and I have to keep going for it because at the end of the day, women don't help me study and they certainly don't help me earn money.

La fille célèbre.

You're getting the idea now, I'm posting mainly about dating, I hope my terrible experiences can aid you in your own love lives, if not then I hope mine make you laugh at least. Until I go on another date, you're stuck with my past experiences for now. This one though is something which I would've never dreamt in a million years. This was six weeks of love and loss. You ready?

In February 2012 I become addicted to a very popular television show, it's total trash Saturday night television which isn't really my thing but I can't help having a guilty pleasure from time to time. Being an avid Twitter user, I follow some of the people in this show, a couple for some reason follow me but one in particular takes a interest in me. I reply to a tweet they posted with something sarcastically which they reply honestly and brutally. A few minutes later, she's following me and starts talking to me, taking an interest. We talk for about an hour before she gives me her private Facebook account and we talk on there, all day. Before I go to bed I take a risk and give her my phone number, why not? I give everyone my phone number. One thing you must understand about me, I'm a hermit, I don't have many friends (through choice) in the real world but through Twitter, I make friends, I'd rather talk to them than most of the people I know. She texts me! Mad! A girl who is watched by millions every weekend, who my friends (the handful) say is gorgeous, has just text me! A few days later we speak on the phone, we talk for nearly four hours, we discuss music we like, the show, my life, my studies, her son and other subjects in between. I decided that I wanted to meet this woman, I had fallen for someone on the television every Saturday night and I wanted her in my life.
She suggests to me that she wants to meet me. She lived in the midlands and I agree to meet her in Birmingham, a mission for me but I'm very keen, she's gorgeous, she makes me laugh and she's famous, I had to do it, I had to impress her, I had to take this opportunity, even if it was a disaster, at least I tried, you have to take every chance of happiness. I meet her at Birmingham New Street and we instantly click, we kiss so passionately, I hold her face softly and tell her how beautiful she looks, she smiles and holds me. We visit the art museum, it's like something out of a romantic novel, we're together, acting like a couple in love looking at beautiful pieces of art. We go shopping in The Bullring where she gets recognized by some lads, that was a really strange feeling, for your date to be recognized because she was on television. She helps me pick out clothes and suggests a top because in her words "It has a little football man on it, you love football, it was made for you!" We end up in Chinatown, we get dinner and decide we want to see each other again, she invites me to stay with her the following weekend. Ten days can't come soon enough.
In the meantime we speak at every second possible, we can't stop talking, about the upcoming weekend and our romantic, wonderful day together. As a little surprise, I arrange to get some flowers sent to her. When she gets them she rings me saying how wonderful I am, she tweets a picture of them and they were beautiful. The lady in the florists did me proud, only the second time I had ever sent flowers but the first time to be a success! I sent her two private YouTube messages showing her my appreciation for her, it was romantic and sweet, she loved them anyway. I thought I was in love, maybe I was but more than likely, I was going to end up looking like a mug.
The day comes, an hour on the train, followed by a four hour coach, followed by an hours train and I'm there. I'm at her house with her, she answers the door looking as beautiful as ever, perfect make up, long dark hair and dressed impeccably. She introduces me to her son who takes an instant liking to me. She has to take her son out to see his Dad and I'm left alone for two hours, luckily I took some coursework with me to keep me occupied. I get that done in an hour, so what now? I decided to let my curiosity get the better of me and look around her house. Her home was a little palace, the place was immaculate, antiques and pieces of art all over. I did what no man should do and look in a ladies bedroom. Now, I was staying the night, I was going to see it later on anyway. I opened the door expecting the most beautiful bedroom and, well, I was shocked. There were clothes, make up and hair extensions everywhere. It looked like Amy Child's bedroom had a bomb go off in it, it was filthy or dirty, it was just a total mess. I rung my friend and she thought it was hilarious. She returned soon afterwards, obviously I didn't say anything but I really wanted to, I wanted to offer to help her clean it but I thought it was best to keep my mouth shut, she was obviously embarrassed about it, I was curious to see what happened when it was bedtime.
We have dinner, we watch her show (she gets over 150 notifications on Twitter) and we have a lot of sex but it's not sex, it's passionate, it's not dirty, it's full of love, looking deep into each others eyes, holding her close, telling her how amazing and beautiful she is. We fall asleep together on the sofa and stay there all night. She says in the morning that her bedroom is being decorated so we couldn't stay there, what a liar eh? Just tell the truth, I'd understand, I already knew anyway so it didn't matter. 
The following day is, well, boring. We sit there, I make her breakfast and we watch 'The IT Crowd' until it's my time to go. She literally loses all her energy, it's like she can't be bothered anymore. I found this particularly odd, I was so happy to be there with her, I didn't care that we weren't doing something amazing, I just wanted to be spending time with her. I leave in some kind of forced romantic moment, from her part anyway and I go, that's it. The weekend is over and I'm heading home. I sit on the coach reflecting on the weekend, what happened? Why do I feel low? Why was the second day a drag? She had either used me for what she wanted or that I wasn't what she expected of me but that couldn't be it, we had already spent one of the most romantic days I'd ever had with someone together, it was confusing.
About three days after the weekend, the calls dried up, the texts dried up, the tweets dried up - I was well and truly dumped but obviously, a man doesn't want to think this so what did I do, I rung her, I text her, I tweeted her, no reply. This really got to me, all I could think about was this girl, this girl who I had fallen madly for, who I stuck up for (people called her a talentless bitch, they weren't far wrong but they didn't have the pleasure of seeing what she was like in bed) who I wanted to treasure, look after and care for, why was she doing this? I tried everything but I got nothing back. I didn't look at my Twitter for days in fear of reading something I didn't want to read. This had gone far enough so in the end I sent her a video message saying if she wanted to talk to me then I was here. I heard nothing, I was devastated. OK, I realise that I went a bit mental but seriously, this is what annoyed me, if she didn't want to talk to me again, she could've said, she didn't have to ignore me and make me feel like a pathetic stalker but she did and for that I hate her, I thought she had the potential to be different but she wasn't, she was like most of the women I've fallen for, a total heartbreaking bitch.
Two weeks later, she tweets me asking why I haven't spoke to her, is she mad? I ring her, she doesn't pick up. She texts me right away asking me not to call because I'm angry with her. I ring again and she picks up. She says that she didn't like our distance and that she couldn't go on and she's sorry. I don't accept her apology but I explain that she should've told me sooner, I'm a reasonable guy and I can take getting dumped, it's happened often enough to me anyway.
Soon turns out that she's been shagging some photographer all along. She stated that they were friends but obviously they were more than friends, fucking bitch eh? OK, we were never official but to me, there was a deep connection, love and respect for each other, I opened up to her, I showed my honest self and she betrayed that, she could've been lying about everything else and it made me furious. I sent her an essay of a text message saying I've discovered about her and the photographer and that I had worked it out for myself. She texts me saying how horrible I was and how badly I treated her! Really? What a fucking joke! I couldn't believe it. I deleted everything, the pictures, the texts, the videos, I blocked her on Facebook and Twitter and we never spoke again, sad it ended badly but it wasn't my fault that she wasn't a nice person. In a way, I don't blame her too much, I mean, she was on television, I'd probably let it get to my head also.

So there you have it. That was my Twitter romance with the dark haired, petite goth lady from Saturday night television. I have no idea what she's doing now, if she's still shagging the photographer or if she wants the clothes she bought me back, I kind of hope she's having a miserable existence but I bet she's happy somewhere with her hermit lifestyle and her extremely untidy room that I was once willing to help tidy, bet no other man she's met since would've offered her that.