All Gone To Plan.

So it's a day off with very little excitement, just getting on with the usual routine, I may see a friend this evening, all depends really. That's not what I'm blogging about though, you've guessed it, it's female related, of course it is. I've had a young lady from the past turn up in the last few weeks which is appreciated, for once. It's our friend who I'd take as a girlfriend, well, I would've done at the time I first told you about her, however, things have changed since. We had our Christmas fall out where I decided that she was a total whore and not to be trusted due to her bailing on me then lying about why.
After that day, I took her off everything, I didn't want to speak to her anymore, didn't want to see which one of the people I know she was flirting with. I forgot all about her, I just got on with my life, working and the such. It was easy, nothing stressful, no laying awake at night, thinking about what would've happened if we had got together, none of that 'the one that got away' bollocks, my memories of her were instead tucked away in a corner of my mind which is used for these scenarios.
A few months pass and I get a text message from her, letting me know of an event in the local area which I'd be interested in. Now, I'll give it to her, she started the message with "I hope you're over what you had against me but I thought you'd like this." I replied, being the soppy wanker I am, we had a nice catch up but that was it, no more, then she followed me again on Twitter with a new account and the inevitable happened, the flirting soon followed and she invited me to spend a night with her at some jam night in a pub. The pubs in her neck of the woods don't exactly have a great reputation but I thought I might as well, I don't have a good reputation, might as well give it go plus my social life consists of talking to girls online and trying to get naked pictures of them (which has produced some gems recently, I'll make an art exhibition of them one day) so the chance to see a girl naked is worth giving a shot, advice - if you're offered sex off someone you even kind of fancy, take it, you don't know when the next fuck is coming.
The night was a pretty standard night at a jam night in a boozer, local pissheads trying to be your mate, being forced to have eight drinks when you can't be bothered, some dreadlocked 90's throwback grunge guitarist trying to be the next big thing and a low percentage of women, however there were a couple of lookers in there (of course I look at other women when in the company of someone I'm trying to fuck) so that was a plus.
I stayed at hers after a walk home which included a debate whether to get a taxi to her house even though it was an ten minute walk and weighing up a kebab if we could find one that was open. We went straight to bed and yes, we fucked, exactly the result I wanted. This girl has recently got a boob job and has been at the gym a lot recently so her body is looking very lean and fuckable. During our drunken sex, I slipped and my hard cock went a little in her ass, she responded with "Wrong hole ____!" and then with that 'on the other hand' tone "you can fuck me there if you want?" Now, this is a dilemma for all men. Just to give ladies the heads up, men love anal, well, at least 90% do. It's something which a lot of girls find taboo (every girl should try it, The One was curious and it turned into her favourite) so finding a girl who loves anal is a major turn on never mind getting it handed on a plate so easily with someone you think is pretty fit so of course, I fucked her in the ass, she wanted it harder, I went harder, one point she was pretty much on the floor with her ass in the air. Unfortunately, being drunk means one thing for me - it takes me a life time to orgasm. Getting hard isn't the problem, it's taking forever to cum, I even get bored of fucking after a while, if you don't feel like you're climaxing at any point, then it's not going to be good sex. After a while, she asked if I was close to cumming which I replied in my honest manner "I'm never going to, let's spoon." That's exactly what happened, we stopped and we spooned. My cock was still hard but there was no way that I was going to have an orgasm, it was nice though to fuck someone I fancy, she kissed me and said she loved me fucking her, and in her ass, always nice to hear.
We parted the next morning and since, well, we've barely spoken. we've text each other saying thanks for the night but that's it, how rude are we eh? Probably for the best, I'll hear from her at some point no doubt and I'll be happy to spend the evening with her again. I suppose this encounter has been a success, right? I'd say so, we had a laugh, no-one has got hurt, we both got drunk and laid, cheeky bit of anal, no love lost, someone to spoon and no cum on her bed sheets - perfect as a planned one night stand can be really.

I'm off to get a steak.

One Night Only

OK enough of the French titles, not like you lot understand them anyway is it? Sorry I've been quiet for a few weeks, I've had a lot of work on, professionally and personally but being a lucky man, I managed to escape work early today, get a few bits done and here I am, writing to you.
So big news - I got laid! Congratulations to me, I am rather proud of myself for this. Want to hear the story? Well, I'm going to tell you.
Drunk night out a couple of Saturdays ago, I get home, drink a pint of water, roll around in bed, intoxicated with a heavy head while playing on my phone, going through Instagram liking a particular girls pictures where out of nowhere, she sends me a message on FB being sarcastic. "Stop creeping on my pictures please." I didn't know what to reply but before the silence killed me she started up a conversation. We talked for an hour or so and in the end, I decided to give her my number. 
We talk all the next day, and the next day and so on. She's totally my type, long dark hair, legs that go on for miles, busty, big dark eyes and a face that I could kiss all day. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend of three years, he left her because he was fed up with the relationship, sad really, he doesn't know what he's missing, she seems pretty spot on from where I stand. She obviously seems lonely at present and I tell her about my current situation basically being that I need a good night, I offer to go up to where she lives, get a hotel and we go for a night out and she agrees. Normally when I suggest this, the girl will say yes and nothing will come of it. I decide not to sort the hotel out until the day comes, I don't want to jinx it or end up looking like an idiot. The day comes and she's game so I sort us out the hotel and after work, make my way there. I get ready in the hotel and meet her there. She looks as gorgeous as she does online, that's the best start.
We grabbed some food and went for drinks. We talked about everything and anything, movies we liked, bands we listened to, mutual friends, her ex, why I'm single. It goes really well, like a perfect first date, I hadn't been on a date since that tart off the television and I was a little nervous at first but it all ticks over nicely. We return to the hotel at a reasonable hour where we talk more, flirt, kiss and of course, we fuck. Seeing as she had recently become single and for all I know I could've been her first since, I gave her a lot of attention. She made the most incredible noises as I flicked my tongue against her clit and when I was inside her, she looked so gorgeous, her face twisting in pleasure, I love it when a girl fully lets herself go in bed. Afterwards we stay up for a while, spooning, being silly and flirting until I fall asleep on her.
The next morning was comfortable, we went for breakfast, had a walk around town, did a bit of shopping, got coffee and also popped into the museum which was a nice touch before leaving her in the middle of the afternoon. To be honest I felt a little sad leaving her. I had a great night and day with her, she made me laugh and I had fun with her but also I knew that our current situations meant it probably wouldn't even lead to anything else, probably wouldn't even see her on that level ever again.
Since this date our talking constantly has quietened right down. I've been thinking about it and I can't have anything serious, she met up with ex on Monday and she also told me she still has feelings for him which I suppose is totally understandable. I text her Sunday evening saying that she shouldn't worry about how I'm feeling. I said I liked her and I had a great time with her but I wasn't going to force anything upon her and she was very mature about the whole thing which was a relief, I didn't want her to hate me or for myself to get in too deep and then get cut up about it when it inevitably blows up. For this I totally respect her and I want her to be happy whatever she decides to do with herself. I have the feeling she might get back with her ex, they're better suited for one thing, obviously I lose out again but will it hinder my life? No, you know why? I'm not going to let it, I already have another girl who I'm interested in.

2012

So the year is nearly over, sad really, it's been pretty enjoyable. All my goals I set myself have been achieved and I'm on course for next year too. This blog isn't about that though, this blog is about sex, love, lust etc etc etc. Shall we have the summary?
Well of course there was the famous tart off the television with her deceiving ways, basically a lying bitch who was so fame hungry, not really relationship material. My friend put it in great context when I was upset about her. He said "You got talking to her on twitter, she's one of the hottest ones, you met her, you fucked her, why are you complaining?" and that is exactly how I look back at it now, she was hot and out of my league on a social and physical basis yet I fucked her, all's well I suppose.
Then we had that girl who I would have as a girlfriend. We were meant to be seeing each other before Christmas, even got her a present but of course, she cancelled...twice. It's things like this is the reason why I don't trust women, seriously with all the cancellations I might as well not bother dating and it gets like that very often. I really liked this girl, she made me laugh and I was so comfortable with her, I could tell her anything but she obviously didn't feel the same about me. I text her on Boxing Day telling her how she made me feel, she gave me some pathetic response saying she was ill which can't have been that bad, she was out Friday and Saturday night. She's just another slut who needs to realise that good men don't come along too often.
So who else have we had? Oh yeah, the local 18 year old. Now, this girl, she'll need a name...errrrm Sex on the Beach? There we go, she's called that now. She's proper fit, stereotypically fit. She's a bit of a chav but seriously, one of the most gorgeous faces I've ever seen and a body to die for, very busty, nice. We were seeing each other over the summer, nice weather so we'd pretty much hang out down the beach, talking, sharing stories, kind of things you do. It was funny because I've known this girl for three years or so and she was a proper nightmare when she was younger, being 15 and turning up at parties wasted, her poor mum. She used to mix with some terrible people which she had ditched by the time we actually had a conversation (July 2012) and I discovered that she was actually a sweet, caring person with a good sense of humour which was such a pleasant surprise. Our dating cycle just fizzled out I suppose, she's unemployed so that limits many things that we can do, I suppose it was a bit of summer fun and we had a good time, there's certainly no hard feelings there and get still get on, I do think about meeting up with her again for a 'catch up' because she was fucking great at that, one of my top ten I'd safely say. I'll make that top ten blog another day.
Last but not least of course is my MILF. That's what she is, a MILF. She's 38 and has a 20 year old daughter. She's a redhead with fake breasts. That's all I'm saying. I met her out in my town one night and we fucked. We got talking a couple of months later and over the last two months, we've fucked every so often. She's good, there's no doubt about that. I'm not ageist or anything but seriously, older women know what they want. 18-21 year olds on a large scale don't have a fucking clue what to do in bed, that's why MILF appeals. Her main problem is that she sends some weird texts when she's drunk and obviously gets a bit emotional. I feel bad because she is a wonderful woman and she deserves to be loved by someone who will take care of her. I'm really not that man and I want to stop it. I did turn her down Christmas Day so I suppose I'm on course.
Right, they're the main women of 2012, the TV whore, the lying whore, the sweet 18 year who fucks like a porn star and the MILF who fucks like a porn star. There are others of course but I'll give you a short and sweet summary.
Gig girl - Met her at a gig, she was staying at the same hotel, we fucked a couple of times. She asked for my number which I replied with "Look, it's not like we're gonna see each other again but you can follow me on twitter if you like?" and she did.
Ex-colleague - Used to work with this woman, she moved away but ended up moving back as she broke up with her partner of six years. We met up through a mutual friend, all got a bit drunk and ended up having sex. She wanted me to stay and spoon her but I rejected and left. I told my boss about this and they said I was heartless. Okay, maybe I was a tad harsh but I'm selfish and I wanted to go home, I didn't want an awkward morning, I was this woman's boss!
Pub girl - Met this girl in our local, funny, never meet girls in there. I think she did the typical "Oh I love your glasses" which I get everywhere. We had a kiss and exchanged numbers. A week later we bumped into each other out, she came back to mine, we fucked and then she left, without a thank you or anything! What a tart, she totally used me! I wasn't that bothered, I was using her like I do with pretty much most women I fuck. Funny thing about this was I saw her a couple of times after, when I was running or in the pub and she'd ignore me. Then one night, out and about in town, I see her but ignore her. A few minutes later she texts me saying "Nice to be said hello to ;)" SERIOUSLY! This girl had ignored me every time I saw her and now she's having a go because I ignored her. Women eh? Anyway we did have a chat but that was the end of it. My friend told me her Dad is some psychotic ex-copper which would probably chase me around with a plank of wood with a nail in it. I've seen him, I can imagine him doing exactly that.
Berlin - Finally, there is Berlin. She is called this due to the fact she'd booked a weekend city break to Berlin. She was a lovely girl, a little older than me. Met her on POF, very sweet but also very regular. She seemed very interested in my love life and my history. I give off the impression that I'm bitter and not a fan of many people which is largely true, she seemed to love this. I went to visit, we had a nice evening, drank wine, talked (mainly me talking) and then she seduced me which was more fun than I thought it would be. She got upset with me because I led her on, I don't see how, I just flirted like I normally do but there we go, in her eyes I did and for that I apologised. I did say I didn't want anything more and I still don't, not with anyone. She needs someone sensible and reliable, she's that kind of woman, basically not my type.
Of course there's been others I have been texting etc which nothing has came about due to distance, effort or I've pissed them off, example @zoo woman who seems to have been hurt a lot, I think I want to save her, I think she's misunderstood and I want to help her, if she wants it of course, she's one of my three twitter crushes in fact, but don't tell her yeah? Then there's the usual people I've found on twitter which have made my days go by quicker in some way or another, thank you I suppose.
So there you have it, 2012 in women. I didn't think any of that would happen but it did and even though nothing came of any of them, I've enjoyed them all but I can't say I've learnt too much from them all I'm afraid. Hopefully next year it'll all be different, maybe I'll fall in love and have an adult relationship, maybe The One will turn up and I'll tell her to do one, maybe one of my twitter crushes will reveal her undying love for me and ask to run away with me to South Korea? Either way, I'm sure 2013 will be eventful regarding my love life and of course, I'll keep you posted.

Baiser.

I've dated many girls over the last ten years as you've probably noticed if you've read my posts here but I've only had about four years of exclusive relationships combined, so what do you think I did for the rest of the time? I didn't sit around being lonely if that's what you think, I went out and tried to get girls, not necessarily for something meaningful, mostly I just wanted one thing, sex. The one thing that women will always have over men, they have the sex, we want it, they can use it to get what they want out of men, every single one of them possesses this power. A man will do anything to get laid, it's just nature, a man wants to mate with as many females as possible, it's our animal instincts seeping to the surface. This doesn't mean we don't want happily ever after, it just means celibacy is a near impossibility to a male, this definitely applies to myself. I am a big fan of casual sex, there are no ties, it's fresh, exciting, unpredictable and it's an easy way to keep those animal instincts happy. It also keeps my head clear, especially these days where I'm not really in the place to have anything serious, I'm studying a lot, I'm working a lot, I'm saving my money and I don't want my mind to wander from my goals.
Being a casual dater does have it's drawbacks, there a nights few and far between where I share my bed with someone I give a damn about, there's things I have to do alone (I recently went to a European city on my own) and there isn't that one person you can always rely on. I feel however that these cons do not outweigh the pros of the situation that I've been in since The 'One' (see 'Mes copines' post) broke my heart in Summer 2009. My favourite thing is the stories that I have acquired from these women, the situations that I've got myself in to have been varied, from total bliss to total embarrassment. The idea of this blog is to mainly share the juicy details, I might touch on other subjects but mainly it's going to be about fucking, screwing, kissing and a little dating. I'm going to post as many of these experiences as possible, not in chronological order, just as they come to me, when I'm bored at work and a girl pops into my head and makes me laugh, I'll remember the facts then let you know here.