All Gone To Plan.

So it's a day off with very little excitement, just getting on with the usual routine, I may see a friend this evening, all depends really. That's not what I'm blogging about though, you've guessed it, it's female related, of course it is. I've had a young lady from the past turn up in the last few weeks which is appreciated, for once. It's our friend who I'd take as a girlfriend, well, I would've done at the time I first told you about her, however, things have changed since. We had our Christmas fall out where I decided that she was a total whore and not to be trusted due to her bailing on me then lying about why.
After that day, I took her off everything, I didn't want to speak to her anymore, didn't want to see which one of the people I know she was flirting with. I forgot all about her, I just got on with my life, working and the such. It was easy, nothing stressful, no laying awake at night, thinking about what would've happened if we had got together, none of that 'the one that got away' bollocks, my memories of her were instead tucked away in a corner of my mind which is used for these scenarios.
A few months pass and I get a text message from her, letting me know of an event in the local area which I'd be interested in. Now, I'll give it to her, she started the message with "I hope you're over what you had against me but I thought you'd like this." I replied, being the soppy wanker I am, we had a nice catch up but that was it, no more, then she followed me again on Twitter with a new account and the inevitable happened, the flirting soon followed and she invited me to spend a night with her at some jam night in a pub. The pubs in her neck of the woods don't exactly have a great reputation but I thought I might as well, I don't have a good reputation, might as well give it go plus my social life consists of talking to girls online and trying to get naked pictures of them (which has produced some gems recently, I'll make an art exhibition of them one day) so the chance to see a girl naked is worth giving a shot, advice - if you're offered sex off someone you even kind of fancy, take it, you don't know when the next fuck is coming.
The night was a pretty standard night at a jam night in a boozer, local pissheads trying to be your mate, being forced to have eight drinks when you can't be bothered, some dreadlocked 90's throwback grunge guitarist trying to be the next big thing and a low percentage of women, however there were a couple of lookers in there (of course I look at other women when in the company of someone I'm trying to fuck) so that was a plus.
I stayed at hers after a walk home which included a debate whether to get a taxi to her house even though it was an ten minute walk and weighing up a kebab if we could find one that was open. We went straight to bed and yes, we fucked, exactly the result I wanted. This girl has recently got a boob job and has been at the gym a lot recently so her body is looking very lean and fuckable. During our drunken sex, I slipped and my hard cock went a little in her ass, she responded with "Wrong hole ____!" and then with that 'on the other hand' tone "you can fuck me there if you want?" Now, this is a dilemma for all men. Just to give ladies the heads up, men love anal, well, at least 90% do. It's something which a lot of girls find taboo (every girl should try it, The One was curious and it turned into her favourite) so finding a girl who loves anal is a major turn on never mind getting it handed on a plate so easily with someone you think is pretty fit so of course, I fucked her in the ass, she wanted it harder, I went harder, one point she was pretty much on the floor with her ass in the air. Unfortunately, being drunk means one thing for me - it takes me a life time to orgasm. Getting hard isn't the problem, it's taking forever to cum, I even get bored of fucking after a while, if you don't feel like you're climaxing at any point, then it's not going to be good sex. After a while, she asked if I was close to cumming which I replied in my honest manner "I'm never going to, let's spoon." That's exactly what happened, we stopped and we spooned. My cock was still hard but there was no way that I was going to have an orgasm, it was nice though to fuck someone I fancy, she kissed me and said she loved me fucking her, and in her ass, always nice to hear.
We parted the next morning and since, well, we've barely spoken. we've text each other saying thanks for the night but that's it, how rude are we eh? Probably for the best, I'll hear from her at some point no doubt and I'll be happy to spend the evening with her again. I suppose this encounter has been a success, right? I'd say so, we had a laugh, no-one has got hurt, we both got drunk and laid, cheeky bit of anal, no love lost, someone to spoon and no cum on her bed sheets - perfect as a planned one night stand can be really.

I'm off to get a steak.

Down and Out

It's been a few weeks or so since I last blogged. To be honest, nothing much has changed, I'm still finding women online which send me nude photos and the Instagram girlie has came back, again. I haven't met up with her again, she wants to which I'm totally fine with, I presume she just wants to use me for my cuddling and sex skills which is fine by me. If anything else happens on that front, I'll let you know.
I've been thinking a lot recently about the whole love thing. It seems like everyone is obsessed with getting married and having children which I really don't want or can see me doing but even so, people laugh at me, ridicule me because I don't want a family. I cannot stand family life, my family for example, they're not bad people, they're not criminals, they've always been amazing to me and I thank them so much for that but as for family events, I can't do them. I feel totally uncomfortable around the people that I should feel the most comfortable around, I don't like to say anything, or for them to share any stories of my past to other members, I dislike the whole idea of having to be together as a unit. I feel that I'm completely different on many aspects which I feel strongly about. I know they hate me for this and it obviously hurts them that I feel uncomfortable around them but if I'm not happy then I'll show I'm not happy, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm not changing that because some people don't like it.
I have a strong feeling that the reason I can't make it with a woman is to do with my views on family life. I think that not wanting a large family is going to be my downfall, all women seem all they want is to get married, have kids and spend a mans money which as you know I hate with a passion. I would take a life partner, marriage MIGHT be on the cards, depending on my feelings at the time but a large family, with kids running about, no! Can't happen, I couldn't do it. What if my child ends up like me, someone that can't even attend their own birthday dinner thrown by their loving family because they feel uncomfortable? I wouldn't want my children to be how I was, I'd like them to love their family.
I have two siblings, who are both in happy, long term relationships and my parents have been together for forty years. One works for the family business (which I tried and failed due to clashing of personalities) and the other one does well in his career (well, it's my parents who sort it, he's their bitch but of course, that's not how everyone sees it) and is loved by my parents. I on the other hand is a student/full time retail assistant who is back at home saving with no social life or girlfriend. Yes, it's not like I'm a shining light for them so I feel like I'm there to be pitied. Family parties basically consist of my parents hanging on their words while I sit there playing on my phone, it really is a fucking drag.
I want something more from my life, I want to earn my love and respect, not be given it due to the fact they're related to me. I aspire to break away from my family unit and have my own life, away from the tedious conversations, awful choices from my siblings of partners and awkward birthday parties.
I had a dream last night about The One. I was at a friends BBQ and she turned up. We argued at each other for five minutes then seconds later we were in a taxi back to mine, she stayed the night and then we had breakfast together. It was quite nice but obviously this is becoming a joke now. She was my last girlfriend, it ended nearly four years ago. People say I'm too picky and that I need to sort it out and normally I would ignore them but nowadays, I'm starting to think they're right. Four years is a very long time to be single, in that time however, the choices for potential girlfriend have been extremely limited. Why would I spend my time with someone who annoys me? Pretty much everyone annoys me to be honest, I don't really like anyone. For some reason, The One didn't really annoy me, there were little things but nothing major, nothing anywhere near major. I think that maybe, I've created my own downfall, maybe I think everyone annoys me because I look for something about them to annoy me. I can't see myself being happy with anyone, I'd have no clue where to start or how to maintain a relationship. I went for lunch today with the family (hence a lot of this blog based around the subject) and there was this waitress there, early 20s, tall, good figure, busty, blonde, interesting face, kinda things I go for (except blonde) and I thought about dating her but how the hell could I impress her or make her fall in love with me?! This relationship malarkey is much harder than people think, people just think you meet and you fall in love, that doesn't seem to happen to me. I meet people, have to convince them I'm not an idiot and by that time they've done something to piss me off and I don't want to see them. It's a circle of destruction which I have created for myself.
I'm planning on running away. I have nothing to keep me here, living in a small town is fucking boring and I suggest if you live in some backward, conservative, frightened, inbred town where the locals look like they're potential guests on Jeremy Kyle, then I urge you to get out and do something with your life. I have my plan, it's getting sorted, a few months from now, I should be laughing. I really hope I am because I can't stand being in this depressing state anymore, I want a new life away from this, I want the chance to find new people, I have to leave, there will be no regrets except not leaving sooner.

Bonus Night

Today I'm feeling a little miserable and a little lost, not a great way to start this post, it could become a bit dark so be warned.

I'd like to firstly state that I am so fed up of being constantly nice and decent to women and for them to not give a flying fuck. Seriously, a reply would be nice wouldn't it? How hard is that?

Since we last spoke, I have had Instagram walk back into my life. Remember, she went a bit quiet a couple of weeks ago? Of course you remember. Anyway, she turned up again on Valentines Day moaning about being lonely and without a date. Now being the gentleman that I am, I had originally offered to spend Valentines with me but she rejected it so by rights, I shouldn't speak to this girl again but that gets you nowhere. We talk about this and that like you do and after time, she offers to come and see me. Obviously I accept.

She came to mine where we drank wine, watched movies, cuddled and yes, we had sex. It was better than before, it felt more personal and enjoyable, it was like we actually both were fully into it which is always a bonus. I seem to have a lot of sex where I'm not really fussed and most the time I don't even finish.

The next day is much the same, cuddling, movies, food, talking about everything and anything. She leaves early evening to pick up stuff from her ex, she rings me afterwards saying what a bastard he is and I'm not going to lie, it makes me feel a little loved that she rung me to discuss it. However, there was one thing that pissed me off about her visit - she was constantly on her phone which I find so rude. If for any reason ever you can't get hold of me, it's because I'm with a female on a date or whatever, I want to give the woman my full attention not be "Hold on a minute to what you're saying, I'm just going to scroll through Instagram for five minutes and have a in depth discussion with my best friend!" Really got on my nerves about her, if I had my way, I would've hid her phone until she left.

Now, maybe this is karma, over the current weekend, we've barely spoke. This happened before but unlike before, I haven't asked what's up with her - yet. We've barely spoke since Thursday, I know she's been out and she's been working but that didn't stop her messaging me before. Something is obviously up with her, the most likely scenario is that she's not keen on me anymore because of something or other? Or she might generally go like this every couple of weeks? Now what do I do? Do I ask if she's OK? Do I wait for her to contact me? I know her being quiet is contributing to my negative mood today, I just wish people were honest and didn't play games, there is really no need to is there? I mean, if she doesn't want to see each other anymore, she just has to say, I'm a reasonable man, I can take rejection on this scale, I'd have much more respect for her. I'm sure every time I get fobbed off by a woman, they just stop replying and ignore me, it's not on. I think all women do it. Women are manipulative and will do anything to get what they want out of someone, I fucking hate them. I'd say safely that 90% of my bad moods, downfalls and failures in my life are down to some woman. Whether it's chasing someone clearly out of my league, it's being dumped, being lead on, whatever, behind every broken man is some fucking bitch who screwed them over. It's not what I need in my life. I don't need these negative, paranoid feelings which drive me insane. If she has a problem with me, it's only fair she tells me what that is. She won't though, she'll just pretend to be oblivious to how I'm feeling but of course, she knows and she's probably loving every second. Bitch.

One Night Only

OK enough of the French titles, not like you lot understand them anyway is it? Sorry I've been quiet for a few weeks, I've had a lot of work on, professionally and personally but being a lucky man, I managed to escape work early today, get a few bits done and here I am, writing to you.
So big news - I got laid! Congratulations to me, I am rather proud of myself for this. Want to hear the story? Well, I'm going to tell you.
Drunk night out a couple of Saturdays ago, I get home, drink a pint of water, roll around in bed, intoxicated with a heavy head while playing on my phone, going through Instagram liking a particular girls pictures where out of nowhere, she sends me a message on FB being sarcastic. "Stop creeping on my pictures please." I didn't know what to reply but before the silence killed me she started up a conversation. We talked for an hour or so and in the end, I decided to give her my number. 
We talk all the next day, and the next day and so on. She's totally my type, long dark hair, legs that go on for miles, busty, big dark eyes and a face that I could kiss all day. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend of three years, he left her because he was fed up with the relationship, sad really, he doesn't know what he's missing, she seems pretty spot on from where I stand. She obviously seems lonely at present and I tell her about my current situation basically being that I need a good night, I offer to go up to where she lives, get a hotel and we go for a night out and she agrees. Normally when I suggest this, the girl will say yes and nothing will come of it. I decide not to sort the hotel out until the day comes, I don't want to jinx it or end up looking like an idiot. The day comes and she's game so I sort us out the hotel and after work, make my way there. I get ready in the hotel and meet her there. She looks as gorgeous as she does online, that's the best start.
We grabbed some food and went for drinks. We talked about everything and anything, movies we liked, bands we listened to, mutual friends, her ex, why I'm single. It goes really well, like a perfect first date, I hadn't been on a date since that tart off the television and I was a little nervous at first but it all ticks over nicely. We return to the hotel at a reasonable hour where we talk more, flirt, kiss and of course, we fuck. Seeing as she had recently become single and for all I know I could've been her first since, I gave her a lot of attention. She made the most incredible noises as I flicked my tongue against her clit and when I was inside her, she looked so gorgeous, her face twisting in pleasure, I love it when a girl fully lets herself go in bed. Afterwards we stay up for a while, spooning, being silly and flirting until I fall asleep on her.
The next morning was comfortable, we went for breakfast, had a walk around town, did a bit of shopping, got coffee and also popped into the museum which was a nice touch before leaving her in the middle of the afternoon. To be honest I felt a little sad leaving her. I had a great night and day with her, she made me laugh and I had fun with her but also I knew that our current situations meant it probably wouldn't even lead to anything else, probably wouldn't even see her on that level ever again.
Since this date our talking constantly has quietened right down. I've been thinking about it and I can't have anything serious, she met up with ex on Monday and she also told me she still has feelings for him which I suppose is totally understandable. I text her Sunday evening saying that she shouldn't worry about how I'm feeling. I said I liked her and I had a great time with her but I wasn't going to force anything upon her and she was very mature about the whole thing which was a relief, I didn't want her to hate me or for myself to get in too deep and then get cut up about it when it inevitably blows up. For this I totally respect her and I want her to be happy whatever she decides to do with herself. I have the feeling she might get back with her ex, they're better suited for one thing, obviously I lose out again but will it hinder my life? No, you know why? I'm not going to let it, I already have another girl who I'm interested in.

Affaires courantes.

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Un point de départ intéressant pour la nouvelle année.

2013 is just about a week old, how exciting eh? This year I have many aims which I'm not going to discuss with you, that way, you might realize who I am and what I want. Instead I'll discuss what happened in the early hours of 2013, it was just bloody typical really.

Ok, clock strikes 12, exciting times as always, get a little kiss which was nice and a first for a few years and then we go into a 'club' where guess who I encountered? Yep, MILF. Dressed up as Marilyn Monroe with her massive breasts on show. We have a New Year kiss and then I end up leaving with her friend and her seconds later to go back to MILFs house. We get back, pour drinks and end up having an underwear party. Basically, this consists of having a party in your underwear. Me and MILF have a little smooch but then somehow decide to try and get her friend to join in which she declines. We keep on at her, she keeps saying no. Good on her I suppose, so what do we do? Leave her to be and go to MILFs bedroom to fuck. We have our typical routine of sex (getting boring now) and I check my phone. I have a text from my friend asking where I am. She's staying at mine and I have to find her otherwise she'll be screwed. I break the news to MILF and she's not happy, she kicks off on me saying she hates me. I just grab my stuff and walk towards town to find my friend.

Turns out my friend managed to get into my house so I go straight home. I get in and she's wide awake. We stay up, have a chat about MILF and then me and my friend fuck, again. Seriously, not again! That's twice in a month! It was weird the other week we did it but not this time, it was easier probably due to the fact that we were both wankered. It's strange though because we hung out the other day and there are no awkward feelings but there aren’t any feelings of lust or love either. I'm sure both are spontaneous weird moments in time and space that no-one could explain ever. To be honest, I hope that is correct. Us having sex and turning into love is not what we want, us having sex and turning into awkwardness is not what we want either, so I hope that it's the spontaneous weird explanation.

So those were my first hours of 2013 and it literally took three hours to have sex with two women. Since that moment however I haven't had any other opportunity to meet anyone. Currently I must admit I should be with a woman who I do fancy the stockings off but I'm not which I'm a little gutted about. Surely soon this will happen and I can't wait, she's bloody gorgeous. I hope you all have your fingers crossed for us.

2012

So the year is nearly over, sad really, it's been pretty enjoyable. All my goals I set myself have been achieved and I'm on course for next year too. This blog isn't about that though, this blog is about sex, love, lust etc etc etc. Shall we have the summary?
Well of course there was the famous tart off the television with her deceiving ways, basically a lying bitch who was so fame hungry, not really relationship material. My friend put it in great context when I was upset about her. He said "You got talking to her on twitter, she's one of the hottest ones, you met her, you fucked her, why are you complaining?" and that is exactly how I look back at it now, she was hot and out of my league on a social and physical basis yet I fucked her, all's well I suppose.
Then we had that girl who I would have as a girlfriend. We were meant to be seeing each other before Christmas, even got her a present but of course, she cancelled...twice. It's things like this is the reason why I don't trust women, seriously with all the cancellations I might as well not bother dating and it gets like that very often. I really liked this girl, she made me laugh and I was so comfortable with her, I could tell her anything but she obviously didn't feel the same about me. I text her on Boxing Day telling her how she made me feel, she gave me some pathetic response saying she was ill which can't have been that bad, she was out Friday and Saturday night. She's just another slut who needs to realise that good men don't come along too often.
So who else have we had? Oh yeah, the local 18 year old. Now, this girl, she'll need a name...errrrm Sex on the Beach? There we go, she's called that now. She's proper fit, stereotypically fit. She's a bit of a chav but seriously, one of the most gorgeous faces I've ever seen and a body to die for, very busty, nice. We were seeing each other over the summer, nice weather so we'd pretty much hang out down the beach, talking, sharing stories, kind of things you do. It was funny because I've known this girl for three years or so and she was a proper nightmare when she was younger, being 15 and turning up at parties wasted, her poor mum. She used to mix with some terrible people which she had ditched by the time we actually had a conversation (July 2012) and I discovered that she was actually a sweet, caring person with a good sense of humour which was such a pleasant surprise. Our dating cycle just fizzled out I suppose, she's unemployed so that limits many things that we can do, I suppose it was a bit of summer fun and we had a good time, there's certainly no hard feelings there and get still get on, I do think about meeting up with her again for a 'catch up' because she was fucking great at that, one of my top ten I'd safely say. I'll make that top ten blog another day.
Last but not least of course is my MILF. That's what she is, a MILF. She's 38 and has a 20 year old daughter. She's a redhead with fake breasts. That's all I'm saying. I met her out in my town one night and we fucked. We got talking a couple of months later and over the last two months, we've fucked every so often. She's good, there's no doubt about that. I'm not ageist or anything but seriously, older women know what they want. 18-21 year olds on a large scale don't have a fucking clue what to do in bed, that's why MILF appeals. Her main problem is that she sends some weird texts when she's drunk and obviously gets a bit emotional. I feel bad because she is a wonderful woman and she deserves to be loved by someone who will take care of her. I'm really not that man and I want to stop it. I did turn her down Christmas Day so I suppose I'm on course.
Right, they're the main women of 2012, the TV whore, the lying whore, the sweet 18 year who fucks like a porn star and the MILF who fucks like a porn star. There are others of course but I'll give you a short and sweet summary.
Gig girl - Met her at a gig, she was staying at the same hotel, we fucked a couple of times. She asked for my number which I replied with "Look, it's not like we're gonna see each other again but you can follow me on twitter if you like?" and she did.
Ex-colleague - Used to work with this woman, she moved away but ended up moving back as she broke up with her partner of six years. We met up through a mutual friend, all got a bit drunk and ended up having sex. She wanted me to stay and spoon her but I rejected and left. I told my boss about this and they said I was heartless. Okay, maybe I was a tad harsh but I'm selfish and I wanted to go home, I didn't want an awkward morning, I was this woman's boss!
Pub girl - Met this girl in our local, funny, never meet girls in there. I think she did the typical "Oh I love your glasses" which I get everywhere. We had a kiss and exchanged numbers. A week later we bumped into each other out, she came back to mine, we fucked and then she left, without a thank you or anything! What a tart, she totally used me! I wasn't that bothered, I was using her like I do with pretty much most women I fuck. Funny thing about this was I saw her a couple of times after, when I was running or in the pub and she'd ignore me. Then one night, out and about in town, I see her but ignore her. A few minutes later she texts me saying "Nice to be said hello to ;)" SERIOUSLY! This girl had ignored me every time I saw her and now she's having a go because I ignored her. Women eh? Anyway we did have a chat but that was the end of it. My friend told me her Dad is some psychotic ex-copper which would probably chase me around with a plank of wood with a nail in it. I've seen him, I can imagine him doing exactly that.
Berlin - Finally, there is Berlin. She is called this due to the fact she'd booked a weekend city break to Berlin. She was a lovely girl, a little older than me. Met her on POF, very sweet but also very regular. She seemed very interested in my love life and my history. I give off the impression that I'm bitter and not a fan of many people which is largely true, she seemed to love this. I went to visit, we had a nice evening, drank wine, talked (mainly me talking) and then she seduced me which was more fun than I thought it would be. She got upset with me because I led her on, I don't see how, I just flirted like I normally do but there we go, in her eyes I did and for that I apologised. I did say I didn't want anything more and I still don't, not with anyone. She needs someone sensible and reliable, she's that kind of woman, basically not my type.
Of course there's been others I have been texting etc which nothing has came about due to distance, effort or I've pissed them off, example @zoo woman who seems to have been hurt a lot, I think I want to save her, I think she's misunderstood and I want to help her, if she wants it of course, she's one of my three twitter crushes in fact, but don't tell her yeah? Then there's the usual people I've found on twitter which have made my days go by quicker in some way or another, thank you I suppose.
So there you have it, 2012 in women. I didn't think any of that would happen but it did and even though nothing came of any of them, I've enjoyed them all but I can't say I've learnt too much from them all I'm afraid. Hopefully next year it'll all be different, maybe I'll fall in love and have an adult relationship, maybe The One will turn up and I'll tell her to do one, maybe one of my twitter crushes will reveal her undying love for me and ask to run away with me to South Korea? Either way, I'm sure 2013 will be eventful regarding my love life and of course, I'll keep you posted.